It is certainly not every person between the ages of 18 and 30 who can be an au pair, and it is striking how many potential au pairs know this. A similar question is asked during the interview and this is usually the answer we get. The nicest answer I have ever received is that an au pair should be someone who is taken out of her “comfort zone” – and then I would like to add – thrown in at the deep end and then it is a case of swim or drown. 

Let me first mention: young men can also be an au pair, and yes, we have sent quite a few over the years and NEVER has there been a young man who gave up, who could not adapt and all successfully finished their year. And also remember that they have to do exactly the same as a young lady au pair. There is no difference in the work of a male and female au pair. An au pair, is an au pair and an au pair has certain tasks that need to be performed.

So who is a typical au pair? It must definitely be someone who likes children and not just likes them, but really loves them, because for a year your life will revolve around them. An au pair must definitely have the following characteristics: cheerful, friendly, responsible, sense of humor, can take your own initiative, likes a challenge, loyal (towards your host family, yourself and your own country), independent, can think on your (own) feet (if you don’t do this yet, you will definitely learn quickly!), be energetic (actually you don’t have a choice, the children will take care of that!), be creative, can think outside the box, can communicate well, (because communication is what a successful year revolves around), patient, enthusiastic, consistent in your actions towards each child, have respect for yourself and for the host family, be adaptable and so one can go on and on. If the list gets so long, one can understand that not every young lady and man wants to be an au pair, because not everyone can meet all the requirements.

Often a young lady sits in front of me and then I just know – she is going to be a great au pair – she has everything I expect from an au pair! Sometimes I get a little doubt in my heart whether I did the right thing in choosing an au pair, and then that au pair surprises me so much that she is better than the one I never doubted. Some in whom you have complete trust, often unexpectedly let you down.

So examine yourself for these characteristics and realize that you are leaving home for a year and the longing is going to be there, no one escapes “homesickness”, but it will depend on how you are going to handle it.

More about “homesickness” next time.

Sometimes it happens that an au pair in Holland discovers that she/he and the host mother are not getting along. Of course, we try various methods to make then “click” with each other. But if that doesn’t not happen at all, we can try a transfer. That is, we see if we can transfer her to another family. However, there are a few conditions attached and it is important that all parties involved know this: 

• The au pair must not have been irresponsible, i.e. did something that endangered the children’s lives. It must be purely a case of “we don’t get along”. 

• The au pair must already be in the name of the family that applied for her visa. It sounds strange, but she/he must already be assigned to the family before we can take her/him away. She/he must therefore already have received her permit for the year, the pass.

• Of course, there must also be a family available to whom she/he can go and this family must be willing to accept her/him and the first family must be willing to have her/him transferred. 

• The au pair must be aware that her/his environment will change. She/he will likely have to go to another town or city. 

• The number of children the au pair has to look after may increase or decrease. 

• The au pair must realise that this is the last chance. This second chance must therefore work because there are no third chances.

Greetings,
Annelies