If you thought you were free from your parents for a year now, you are making a big mistake. Although they may not be there physically, they play a very important role in this year that you will be gone.

Their role is twofold:

1. Supportive

2. Motivational

It is very important for all agents to know that you have the support of your parents if you are going to au pair for a year. It would definitely be a very good thing to do to clear up any conflicts with each other in advance, before you go. If this is NOT the case, we can use our own judgment and therefore not send you.

You are going to a foreign country, environment, family, culture and if you are angry at home on top of that, then it is a very good recipe for failure. Because your parents are the ones who should support you; you should know that they are reachable in case you want to shed a tear, want advice on how to handle a child and how to cook rice, etc. They provide the secure base that you so need to make a success of the year. They are your anchor in a foreign world, that voice of mother is sometimes so necessary to hear again and father’s reassuring assurance that they are behind you.

Furthermore, they play the role of motivating you in times when you feel like you can’t and don’t want to anymore. Then it should be your parents who encourage, motivate, tell you again why you chose to do it and NOT say: “Come home, my child.” Then they should be there with advice, nice encouraging chats, maybe just send a recipe or two, make suggestions on how to deal with a naughty child, what to do when you feel things are getting too much for you. This is why they are so important, and if you are angry and don’t have their approval, you really have a problem here.

Of course, our agents also play a role in helping and motivating, but the very personal contact you have with your parents is missing. And who knows you better than Mom and Dad?

Of course, it is also difficult for your parents to see that my child is leaving home, and that is why we as agents can assist them more with advice. It is often very strange to us that parents shy away from calling the family every now and then and hearing if they are satisfied with you. You look after people’s most precious possessions, but your parents have also sent their most precious possession and therefore they have every right to talk to the host family from time to time. The host families have a very high appreciation for this and through it they also get the assurance that there are more people than just them who have invested in the project.

The icing on the cake is of course when your parents (or mom) can come visit you! Those who are not so fortunate to have their parents in Holland stand strong and support each other and make plans together. A year goes by so quickly.

And here I would also like to quote the following to the parents: 

Parents, you have given your children the roots that anchor them in life, but now also give them the wings to spread their wings.

You might think I’m talking to the au pairs when I write this, but I’m actually saying it to myself. After twenty+ years in the Nedsa industry, I thought I knew everything, had experienced everything, you name it and I know about it and am just one step ahead of everyone else. Oh no, I’ve just found out again why an au pair has to come home.

In the Netherlands, dogs are trained from the start and must always be “on a leash” when you go for a walk with them. Some restaurants allow dogs, but then they must be dogs that do not sit and beg and drool and bark, while you enjoy what is there to eat and drink. And believe me, there are dogs like that. You have probably also seen dogs riding on the train – as long as his owner buys him a ticket, he is allowed to ride along and from experience I have seen that Flaffie sometimes behaves better than his owner!

Furthermore, you may have also seen a notice here and there in someone’s garden: “Dogs do not poop here.” I always wondered if Dutch dogs can read, but no, it’s meant for you, the dog that takes you for a walk. Please take it to heart, and if it does happen, you have your bag at hand. Be prepared!

So: take your bag, or alternatively, a “poop scoop” and go for a nice walk with Flaffie and the peace is preserved. There is no such thing as refusing to do this.

We live in times where we blurt out everything on social media. When I was young, I had a diary and my biggest secrets were recorded in it, and woe to the one who dares to look for my diary and read it!… Today everything is openly and openly proclaimed on Face book for all to see. But it’s one thing to do it with your own life – post photos, share experiences etc., but you MAY NOT post photos of the family and their children on FB. You will first have to get permission from them for that and it may be that they will not give it and make peace with that. You are violating their right to privacy if you do it just for everyone on this side to see how cute “your children” are.

If you have a family with another child of about 2-3 years old, chances are very good that you will have to change another dirty diaper and wash bottoms. It’s a given!! Get ready for it. To say I didn’t know that is really stupid of you and you have no experience with a child of that age! Good preparation for one day when you are a mother yourself.

Don’t say you can cycle and then you can’t. Of course it’s easy to say you can do it, but once you get into the practice, the wheat is separated from the chaff!! If an au pair is honest during an interview and says I can’t cycle, but I’m going to train really hard before I leave for the Netherlands, we’ll let you go – you’ll just have to prove that you really can. Don’t say you’re a non-smoker and your FB is full of photos of you with a cigarette in your hand or smoking in the Netherlands! What else have you been lying about! If you can lie about cycling and smoking so easily, what else have you been lying about!

So: I thought these types of things couldn’t happen, and it didn’t and shouldn’t make you guilty of this!! Life could be so much fun and pleasure and be simple, if I didn’t always have to remember what I lied to and who I lied to!!